I’m going into full shitblr mode, just saying. I’m so done with diets, with people picking at each other because they think their way of doing things is the best way. I’m so done with restricting. I’m tired of cutting stuff of my diet, when I should be adding more and trying more and growing and…
This woman said it right, and I’m going into shitblr mode with her. I was thinking about this exact same thing last night, because I realized that yesterday I ate exactly what my body needed, and I felt so satisfied — even though it was way more carbs than I’ve let myself have in months.
But I didn’t really notice that I had a “normal” eating day until last night around 11pm where I was like “wow, I didn’t have any obsessive thoughts about food today. I just… ate. I just let it be.”
And then I got on tumblr this morning and immediately saw more people switching to the paleo/primal lifestyle and I thought, “hmm wonder if I should research that more…”
To which I finally said quite frankly, fuck no. Yesterday just living, just “being”… was so great. I don’t ever want to lose that again. It doesn’t mean I’m suddenly eating brownies every day for dinner or putting tons of sugar in my coffee, it just means I’m eating in a more balanced way and I DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. The only thing I’m worried about now is fueling my workouts and recovering from them, both of which require food and lots of it.
I completely relate to what she said about excuses and how they relate to disordered eating. Whenever I hop on the keto/lchf train and tell myself it’s because I’m just so into the biochemistry behind it and all that…. it’s bullshit. Really it’s just another way to be obsessed and try to control my food intake and lose fat.
Life is so, so much better when I actually focus on school and the relationships around me, instead of focusing on every detail about what I need to eat today and how I’m going to do it, and then binging anyway.
In fact, the only times in my life where I’ve just let food be food and not be on some crazy diet… I’ve looked my best. I’ve been at my leanest. I’m getting that back.